thoughts on motherhood: 4 // breastfeeding

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{me & levi @ 10 months old}

before L was born, i wanted to prioritize breastfeeding. my hope was that we would make it to the one year point before he self-weaned. silly me thought he would want to start weaning around 12 months. little did i know. after a bit of research {google!}, i realized that most babes prefer to breastfeed past 12 months, and that WHO recommends breastfeeding until 2 years old. although there are days when i swear he’s starting to wean, they’re followed by days where it seems nursing is the only thing we do. for the entire day. not only is he still very interested in “milk” {which he signs by opening and closing like he’s milking a cow}, he is still consistently waking up 2-3x/overnight for it. the silly thing is that he was getting better a few months ago, then BAM – he got sick and sleep was heavily interrupted. so he’s regressed.

i’ve read the books, i’ve scoured the internet for gentle solutions for night weaning. there are times when L will cry himself back to sleep, but i can tell {i can tell!} the difference between these wakings and the “i want the milk” wakings. {funny how that happens, isn’t it? how one learns to differentiate the cries of their progeny. i didn’t believe it until it happened to me.} we tried this method, read this book and this book. although we seemed to make a little progress by reducing the amount of time i fed him each night, we never made it to the final stage of letting him cry himself back to sleep because he would just carry on, sleep for five minutes, and then start the process all over again. so, we stopped. stopped stressing about trying to train our kid to sleep through the night just because i envied the other mamas who were well-rested. do those even exist?! i’m skeptical.

so, here we are. 14 months in. no signs of weaning. and i’m still stumbling bleary-eyed in the middle of the night into L’s room to nurse him. some nights are worse than others {like the night he was up 5 times because of teething, and 3 times because he threw up all over himself}, i’m sticking with what my mantra has been all along… to trust my gut and accept that his needs {for now} might continue to interrupt my sleeping patterns.

a few things that have gotten me through the nights {and the next morning} when it feels like sandpaper has replaced my eyelids.

\\  this website has really great advice. it really aligns with my overall philosophy about parenting and breastfeeding.

\\ i decided to break up with my medela backpack {aka my breast pump}. i know just breastfeed on days when i’m home, and overnight before/after work. freedom from my little black backpack that i used for 416 {yes, i counted} days.

\\ i also found this article interesting regarding the different things that can impact the nursing relationship: distractibility, nursing strikes, teething.

\\ i have a little list of all of the places that we’ve breastfed outside of the house. it’s a fun way to remember our nursing adventures.

the bottom line is that i love nursing. i love our special bonding time, and if he’s not ready to give it up, neither am i.

XX

PS. remember this? that about sums up my thoughts about sleep learning.

easter 2014

we spent easter sunday with my parents at their church {we = L and me since hubby had to work…boo}. L hunted easter eggs for the first time and found two {TWO!} eggs all by himself. he was so proud. he carried them around for the rest of the day, it was the sweetest thing.

although we missed papa, we started the day with opening the gifts we got him for his easter basket. he really liked the green toys airplane and tractor, hence his huge cheesy grin below.

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and just for fun, an easter photo from last year…crazy to see how much the little guy has grown!

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last week we spent a few days out at the park letting L run around. he’s an independent, curious child, and i love watching him discover new things. this is a photo of him learning to gallop {faster than a walk, not quite a run}.

five finds for friday

{source: corals + cognacs}

a few of my favorite finds from around the internet this week:

1) hallie from corals + cognacs rocking this look. makes me want to buy a striped blazer. i spotted this one at target, and might re-think my initial assessment that it was “too stripey-stripey”.

2) this piece about married life. so true. also, i love momastery.

3) an inspiring post about a journey to become foster parents/pre-adoptive family placement by jen loves kev 

4) i’m on the hunt for a new wedding ring since i developed an allergy to my current white-gold set. this one’s really pretty.

5) and 26 food things only a chicagoan would understand. particularly #5, #11, #12, #17, #20.

happy weekend, ya’ll.